Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I got up and made sure my son got up for school and headed off for school.  I went back and cuddled with my hubby and then he headed off for work.  I decided to do something for me so I called about a laser hair removal appointment that I had purchased on Groupon and so that is scheduled for Oct 6th for 1:30pm.

Then I worked on several applications and left a message for my daughter's therapist to find out if I had to pick my daughter up or not.  Our friend called and she was soo tired she was nearly falling asleep at the wheel so we chatted to keep her alert and she also calmed me down from the fear of having to do therapy with my daughter.  After I got off the phone with her - I took a shower and then the therapist called as I was heading out to the door.  She reminded me that my daughter only was like that on Sunday's phone call because she is trying to push me away.  She said she would have someone else pick up my daughter so I didn't have to since I was struggling.  I drove down there - trying to stay calm and talking to my friend to try to put myself in the right mindset.

So I got there.  When my daughter got there she was antsy, agitated and bouncing her leg, not looking at me and being rude.  She said it was due to Sept 11.  I honestly had no compassion and felt it was a bunch of bull and that she was trying anything to misdirect us so she would get to avoid working on herself.  Finally - I thought I was going to put an end to her refusing to say what was the problem and just avoiding everything and I said - well just tell me the one thing that sticks in your mind the most about September 11th.  She got quiet and then said - when the blood came out of his mouth and started swirling around in the pool.

She was still, tears streaking down her cheeks and talking quietly - I knew she was at a real moment and instantly I was able to find the compassion I needed to continue working with her.  We had a good therapy session covering many topics and I pushed her to move forward and to to learn to trust in me.

After therapy I called our friend and she was happy to get good news and told me she had slept a bit but would soon be going back to bed.  I checked in with my mom and then my hubby. 

We relaxed and ate spaghetti and had a nice evening although I was very emotionally exhausted.
I wanted to sleep after dinner but my mind as usual kept racing and I felt like I didn't do enough of a job search today so I finished creating profiles for Monster and Career Builder and I finished working through my list of group homes in this area.  I also checked in again with the different job places to make sure I did not miss anything.

Oh and somewhere in all of that stuff this morning I also had to scan more termination paperwork to try and get on my hubby's insurance - they are still fighting it.  And just as I was falling asleep I remembered to contact the HR person that had given me a letter and sent an email asking if he could modify it and send it again.  Maybe I will be able to get to sleep - doubtful - my mind is just so chaotic.


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