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Showing posts from October, 2011

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I got up and made sure my son was out the door on time and then made sure my hubby got up and out on time.  I spent the day focusing on trying to find a job.  I got a call to have a 2nd interview for the place I interviewed for last Wednesday.  That made me feel good - it is down to about 8 people.  I got information from my hubby's doctor so we have a timeline for his surgery on Feb 28th.  I started making some calls about places to stay.  Looks like it will be harder than I thought and more expensive as that is when the SF Giants will be doing spring training.  I started dinner cooking in the crock pot and then my son came home from school.  We talked and he cleaned his room.  Then we headed off to choir.  I came home and hubby and I got a chance to just talk.  My hubby picked up my son after choir and we then ate dinner.  By the time we finished it was getting late.  So we went to bed.  I was trying to get my laundry done - my hubby helped finish it up.  I am really anxious abo…

Monday, October 3, 2011

I got up and made sure my son was up and then made sure my hubby was up.  After they left, I got myself together and did one more round of shopping.  I came home and watched some tv while looking for a job.  I just was so wiped out and tired of feeling so bad.  I also just was sinking deeper into depression.  I really need a job and I just feel so worthless.  I did make sure that I had dinner ready when my hubby got home and we have a nice early meal and we were able to watch some tv shows together and we had a nice evening.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Got up kind of late.  Went shopping and saved quite a bit of money doing the couponing that I had been working on.  Talked to my mom.  Went to McDonalds for lunch and hubby was able to sit up with me a large part of the day and we watched Bull Riding.  It was an easy and relaxing day.  I picked up my son when he called and he finished off his chores and we had Taco Bell for dinner.  We watched some TV and laughed and joked.  It was nice to have some time together - it is just too bad that my hubby and I are still feeling so bad.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Since my son was gone on a camping trip - I could just relax around the house and my hubby stayed in bed quite a bit of the time.  I was able to clean up a few more things and we watched tv and just relaxed.  At least my hubby was able to be up more than he was yesterday - I think he is improving.  I have a plan to go grocery shopping tomorrow so I am saving my energy to do that.

Friday, September 30, 2011

I got up - my hubby was still sick - I made sure my son got going to school.  I reminded him he had chores and was leaving for a camping trip.  I was able to finish cleaning up the house and apply for more jobs.  My son called from school with 2 hours until he would be leaving for his camping trip and wanted to see how a friend who had been sick was doing.  Needless to say when he got home with less than an hour to go before we had to leave he was only able to pack and he was not able to do his chores.  I took him and dropped him off at the meeting place so he could go to camp and then headed to Mt. Mikes to get pizza for my hubby and I.  I got my hubby up to watch some tv and eat pizza.  At least he was able to stay up longer this time.  We chatted and eventually went to bed.  I just hope my son doesn't get sick and I hope my hubby recovers faster than me since I am still coughing pretty bad.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Well hubby had felt sick last night and he was really sick with what sounds like I have today and he called in to work.  My son got up and was running late so I took him to school.  I went back to bed for awhile and then I got up and actually had enough energy to clean up part of the house and start running some dishes.  My son came home after school and then went back out - his venture crew is not tonight like we thought so he was able to spend some time with friends.  He came home for dinner and I went and got us all Subway (while we were there my daughter and her therapist called - I was rather confused because last I heard she did not want to see us anymore and now they were asking when she could come for a visit - so we agreed I would go to therapy next Wed so we could discuss things).  I got my hubby up (pretty much the only time he was up) and he ate dinner with us and went back to bed.  I stayed up with my son for a bit longer and then we all went to bed.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I had to get up and leave early - made sure my son was up and when I called home to make sure my hubby was up he didn't answer the phone which meant he was in the shower already.  My new doctor on this new health plan was ok.  She said I would just have to ride out this annoying cold.  I will go back in a few weeks for a full physical.  Found a web page of therapists in the area that do what I want to do so I started working on emailing them to see if they have any ideas on the direction I should go.  I was really tired and still feeling pretty sick.  I basically vegged out the rest of the day.  I hate being this sick and feeling this crappy.  I have so much to do and I feel like I am wasting time.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I got up this AM - made sure my son was off to school - made sure my hubby got out of the house on time and then took a shower and took meds so I would be ready for my interview.  I headed to my interview and got there with time to spare.  I finally decided to go in the 15 min early because I was guessing they would have me fill out paperwork - I was right.  So I did the application and then did the interview.  I think it went rather well - but they have a lot of applicants - the room was full when I left of people filling out applications.  I headed home - I had intended to go grocery shopping but I was still wiped out.  I came home looked for jobs for a bit longer and then just rested and slept while watching tv.  My son came home and I worked on chores and homework then I took him to choir.  My hubby picked him up from choir and we ate dinner.  I went to bed hoping that tomorrow I would feel better.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Woke up and made sure my son was out of bed and on his way to school and that my hubby got up on time.  I was sick as a dog.  Darn I really had hoped that I was almost over whatever I had gotten.  It seems to have gone into my lungs - I am coughing a lot and raspy breathing.  I tried to get a grocery list together and also started applying for things that came up last week.  I got a call about a job I applied for a couple weeks ago and they want me on an interview tomorrow (Tuesday) - I said yes - darn I am going to have to medicate the heck out of myself to sound ok. 

I really didn't get to much else as I was so exhausted.  The house is still a mess and I have a million things running through my head.  Tomorrow I will have an interview at 10am in El Dorado Hills and then in the evening I will need to take my son to choir.

 I left a message for my daughter's therapist so we can try to figure out what needs to be done next.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I got up early - it had been a hard night as I had a fever part of the night but it broke and I thought I was getting better - we settled our hotel bill - I have to say having a roommate is so wonderful - 1.  It cuts the cost of the hotel room in half and 2.  You have support and someone to process so much stuff that you are dealing with.  My roommate was dealing with her own issues so the two of us supported each other (and of course she orchestrated the fishnapping!) I highly suggest getting a roommate!  I got to the airport - you got to laugh - I was there 2 hours early because of security and yet the counters didn't open until about an hour before the flight was to take off.  The flight home was easy and my hubby picked me up - I felt really tired - and then went to bed.  Between fighting for my daughter and being sick - I just was exhausted.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I got up for a great breakfast.  I also got a message from one of my attorney's telling me they had got a judge to sign something that would allow me to appeal and my daughter would be moved back to her group home during the appeal process.  With that good news I went down for the keynote speaker and there were coloring crayons and cool little toys on the tables - again what a way to remind us to see through the eyes of a child.  The keynote speaker was Dr. Laurie Anne Pearlman discussing Vicarious and Secondary Trauma: The costs of caring - which basically verified what we all as parents know - dealing with our children and the trauma they have experienced means that we experience it too.  It was nice to have a professional say that what we go through really is expected (what do you know everything we KNOW here on this support group - is verified by professionals - at least he ones who understand).  She gave some suggestions on taking care of ourselves and understanding how it ca…

Friday, September 23, 2011

Yet another wonderful breakfast (oh and please note - each time I was down in the food area - I was bidding on some of the silent auctions - LOL - I told my hubby I would be good (I was - well as good as I could be - but there were really cool magnets and someone brought amethyst which you all know i could not pass up))  Today was a workshop day and my first workshop was Consultation and Case Presentation Using Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy presented by  Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman - I really wanted to take this one because I am very interested in learned more about DDP because i have heard so many wonderful things about it in attachment therapy, especially with teens and my daughter's therapist is learning DDP so I thought it could be beneficial on a personal level.  I learned a lot - got to see how it could be used by several role playing scenarios and that was really helpful to get a step by step idea of different ways you could go about it.  At this point my personal life w…

Thursday, September 22, 2011

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I got up and headed down a little early to help out - Again a wonderful breakfast.  Our keynote speaker for the morning was Ed Tronick  who discussed how infants and toddlers try to connect with caregivers and how frustrated they get if they cannot and how after awhile they give up.  He had an amazing video  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0   and also consulted on Law and Order http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySBBYfzxQes&feature=relmfu.  The videos were really helpful to drive the point home how easy it is for there to be attachment related issues and how they start.  Also to note - cute sunglasses and such were put on each table - so we really could see through a child's eyes.  We had a networking lunch where there were different topics and signs up - I sat in the Western US table and got a chance to meet some people that were from California.  Then it was time for workshops - I chose to go to EMDR - Family Therapist Team Treatment for Attachment Trauma in Children b…

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I got up and headed down a few minutes early to help a bit.  Then I ate breakfast - It was great pastries, cereal, milk, coffee, soda, yogurt, fruit, OJ another kind of juice - it was wonderful for someone like me who HAS to have something besides carbs to make it through the day - I was trying to get by without buying much because being unemployed, I really shouldn't have gone to the conference - my excuse though is I paid for the conference and the flight when I HAD a job (yea that was my excuse - LOL) - so breakfast was great and I chose the session with John Briere  http://www.johnbriere.com/itct_a.htm - For me - I chose this session Integrative Treatment for Complex Trauma in Adolescents because not only do I want to know more how to work with the teen kids I often work with but I also wanted to see if there was anything new I could use with my nearly 16 year old daughter.  While nothing was actually "new" to me - one of my issues is that pretty much therapy the cou…

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I got my hubby up and we drove nearly an hour to the airport.  He went back home to get ready for work.  I went through security with no problem and the plane left with no problem (I guess my bad luck on the flights I took the week before did not carry over) I had an hour layover in Las Vegas - it was here I started questioning whether I should have gone to this conference because my daughter's therapist told me she thought I needed to get an attorney right away because things were happening after my daughter had requested to be moved to another group home and to not reunify (she is almost 16) - distraught I got on the next leg of the plane.  I arrived in Omaha to WONDERFUL WEATHER - it had been already in the low 90s when I left Sacramento at 8am - and was over 100 in Las Vegas - Omaha - about 75!!!!!  I called the hotel and they said the shuttle would be there soon.  It got there and took me to the Hotel.  Before I had left I had been studying my facebook to memorize what my roo…

Monday, September 19, 2011

I got up and made sure my son was out of bed and on his way to school.  Then I made sure my hubby got up.  I was supposed to be packing today - those who really get to know me will find I constantly distract myself - I am ADHD at its finest.  Instead of packing I was at my favorite store in the WHOLE WORLD - Michaels (if you don't have them where you are it is an amazing arts and crafts store that has all kinds of stuff for nearly every craft imaginable.)  They also have really inexpensive T-Shirts.  I found 3 black T-shirts for my evil plan (evil laugh rubbing hands together) and iron on paper for an ink jet.  I went on google images (ok really how cool is google images where you can type in anything you want and find pictures of it - just be careful if you do not have some filtering on - the most innocent searches would embarrass Hugh Heffner) - anyway I found a cool looking Codfish picture that looks like a fish in a GodFather outfit.  I then found a big no sign.  Now that I ha…

Sunday, September 18, 2011

My friend is still waiting the ultrasound results on her cat - but luckily he has quit vomiting and seems a bit better.  I am more than a bit anxious - I really want to go to this conference but am really struggling with leaving my hubby.  I know I need to learn to be on my own more but I have been so stressed about finding jobs and everything - I just feel so overwhelmed.  At least today was another quiet day.  Sometimes I wonder about my son.  He came home late - just in time to finish his chores before the end  of the week.  I have barely seen him all week.  Hubby and I talked a lot (he keeps trying to keep me positive) - I sent out everything I had to get done for this week with unemployment and everything.  And had a nice family dinner.  Tomorrow I have to get ready and pack since I leave early Tuesday morning.
My daughter called me on Sunday and first played the "everything is great I am doing so well had a great week"  I asked her about her running away and she tried …

Saturday, September 17, 2011

No word on my friend's cat.  I dreamed about the cat (even though I have never met him) all night.  I hope he is going to be ok, because our friend has already had so much loss in her life recently.  Today was really a do nothing type day.  Hubby slept in.  My son was gone most of the day with friends and such.  I picked up the house a bit and just relaxed.  Hubby and I watched TV.  We had some nice alone time in the evening.  I am already having anxiety about leaving for several days.  I just hate being away from him.  But I have to remember he is just a phone call away, I will be with my friends and I will have the Teddy Bear he gave me.

This will be the longest we have been apart since I moved in.

Friday, September 16, 2011

I got up and made sure my son was out the door.  I just felt so down today.  I looked for jobs.  Sent out a few resume's.  My hubby sent me a nice email which sort of cheered me up.  I still just felt so bad - I wish I had a job offer at least and I am starting to really stress about money.  After next week I really need to focus on getting a job.

My son was supposed to go to a dance but there was no dance because there were not enough chaperones.  Instead we had a chance to sit and relax for the evening.   Despite feeling inadequate and like I am worthless in the job market - it turned out to not being so bad.

Our friend called and again her cat was sick - we are hoping that all works out - everyone just needs a break and for some positive things to happen.