Beltane\May Day

Beltane is a time of Expression - it is time to express your intentions.  You have planned and created and now it is time to really work on your intentions.  This year I am seeing the possibilities of my new practice/career and need to keep working on it to make it thrive.

My Seeds of Intent
1.  To become more physically, mentally and emotionally healthy.
*  I have been eating a bit better and I walked my 1st 5K ever on the NAMI Walk on April 27.

2.  To focus on helping my son into adulthood and being present with him and understanding of his limitations and abilities.
*  My son finished his senior project and looks to graduate high school on time.  He also may finish his Eagle Scout project and he will go to China right after he turns 18 for a couple of weeks with his choir.

3.  To find a way to become a therapist in the direction in which the Goddess leads me.
*I created a new idea - creating a support package for therapy - to get people out of crisis - I hope this will help more people.

4.  Continue to let go of the past and learn to live in the present and not to spend too much time obsessing about the future.
*I still struggle with this but am working really hard on living in the moment.  It is hard when we are financially struggling but things will look up.

Time to really kick it into gear.

Full Milk Moon

Full Milk Moon is usually in May but this year it is at the end of April.  It is often called the Milk Moon because baby goats and calves have just started to be born so cow and goat milk is plentiful.   It is a time when planting is the main focus and birth and new life is plentiful.

I am taking this time to continue to put energy into my new practice and to nurture it with the ideas and sustenance I have been receiving.  It will take time and hard work but it will pay off eventually.

My Quest for Peace - Day 100 - Last Day - although I will always be on this quest

I have learned a lot from this book and am finding myself filled with more joy and peace than I ever have.  The biggest positive is that I am able to accept love and really know I am loved.  I now know I am worthy of love and deserve it.  I am working on learning how to stay in a place of peace more often and it will take time - I know my quest will be eternal but I sure like how I am living and enjoying life now.

My Quest for Peace - Day 99

My relationship with my daughter does not work.  I need to work on allowing myself to love her unconditionally and letting her make her own mistakes and choices.  I can continue to advocate for her best interests and try to limit suggesting what she should do.  She has to walk her own path as much as it breaks my heart to see her struggle and fail, it needs to be her own choices and consequences like my choices and their consequences are mine.

My Quest for Peace - Day 98

Today I give myself permission to be loved and accept love.
A simple yet tough statement for me - one that I am making more and more progress on.

My Quest for Peace - Day 97

Today, was a good day to practice being quiet.  My son was gone and I was able to relax.  Everytime a negative thought or feeling came through my mind (that I realized) I worked on making it positive.  If I thought of my frustrating relationship with my daughter - I thought how lucky I was to have met her and have become a much better person because of my relationship with her. 

I felt more and more peaceful throughout the day.  I know there will be days that I cannot do this - but I know I am in charge of my own thoughts and feelings and don't have to let someone else take my power away from me.

My Quest for Peace - Day 96

I am willing to let go of my controlling behavior today.  I am learning to accept that I am not in control of others and am willing to give up that ugly part of myself that tries to control what others do.