Depth of Feelings

It has been nearly 9 years since I really and truly opened up my heart and practiced experiencing feelings without always shutting down my emotions.  It has been a roller coaster of a road.
I love the amazing feelings of love, affection, trust, safety, passion - and struggle with anxiety, hatred, and hurt. 

You cannot have one without the other and I still feel that I am better because of it.  It is only now though that I am really having a chance to work on balance.  I am practicing scheduling my life based on how I am feeling and dealing with things.  I take extra time to care for my emotions when I feel more chaotic and other days when I have more energy I use that and really get stuff done.  I am still able to force myself into doing things even if I don't want to but in general my life is much easier now that I am working with the ebb and flow of my bipolar disorder and able to keep it from getting out of hand.

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