Allowing myself to grieve
I was feeling pretty good about Yule, and then suddenly it hit. It felt like a tidal wave of sadness just crashed over me. For an hour or so I really felt like I couldn't figure out which way was up. I cried, searched for signs of my daughter on facebook and the internet. I hate not being able to talk to her or know if she is ok. This is the first Yule that I am really disconnected from her. I love her and yet I know for now I need to let her to go so she can grow up. I have hindered her for long enough by enabling her. It was hard but I just allowed myself to grieve knowing it is part of the process.