Saturday, August 13, 2011

It really should have been a good day - and it was on the outside - just I seemed to be so depressed.  I couldn't break out of the mood.  I did a little bit of reading.  My hubby probably was also feeling depressed as he slept a lot of the day.  We did relax and talk.  It was nice having a quiet day but I just felt like I was on the brink of tears all day.

I hate this feeling - I struggled all day - I am not super depressed but just so emotionally tired - it's not like I want to die - just that I want to sleep all day and cry all day BUT I hate crying so I stuffed my tears and didn't cry.  We did have fun watching his parrot try to decide if a tunnel he made was safe enough to go through - it was fun to watch.

Finally we headed to bed - the idea was to have some adult time - but about 15 minutes into kissing - I just started crying.  I just couldn't hold back the tears - my hubby being the awesome guy he is asked if I wanted to lay with my head on his chest and I said yes - so we laid there with me crying - he told me that he is honored that I trust him to be able to cry in front of him and let down my guard.  I still am amazed - what guy feels "honored" to stop when things are heating up - and is happy holding his crying wife - I am so lucky.

As usual after I stopped crying he started saying things that made me giggle and eventually I was able to go to sleep in a slightly better mood.  I really hope I can beat this depression.  No - I KNOW I WILL.

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