Lady Heather's Domain: My life in a Nutshell

I spent last week at the Gender Odyssey Conference.  It was amazing, humbling and very emotional. I have so many things I am still trying to grasp. My daughter also contacted me while I was at the conference and actually was in a mental health facility trying to remain sober. So spending the day listening to loving and supporting your child no matter what and then talking my daughter and trying to apply the same concepts to my relationship with her.  So much to process. I think I will be adding to this one post for awhile as I process the emotions. I am waiting to hear back from my daughter re: whether he relapse yesterday is going to cause her to get kicked out.  So hard to just let go and yet hold my arms open. ********************** update Tuesday, August 25 2015 - it seems that my daughter has left the facility based on her FB posts. I have decided to try to seek therapy because this is just to much - I need to work through these emotions and I am just a me...

Beltane is a time of Expression - it is time to express your intentions.  You have planned and created and now it is time to really work on your intentions.  This year I am seeing the possibilities of my new practice/career and need to keep working on it to make it thrive. My Seeds of Intent 1.  To walk more I am so very frustrated with this seed - early February I hurt my foot and my doctors are telling me to not walk on it.  I may even have surgery on it. 2.  To make sure I do self-care. I am working on this.  I am taking more time for myself and choosing to disconnect from toxic people.  I took it easy while I was studying and made sure to have fun. 3.  To pass my licensing exams ACCOMPLISHED!!!  I passed both exams, and my license was issued on April 21! 4.  To find a way to be supportive of my daughter and not enable her. After trying to help her into a sober living environment and failing - I have limited my int...

Yesterday my hubby flew to another state to have another surgery for his transition from FTM (although he has been living as male for 13 years).  It has been a long process - it has been just over a year since his first lower surgery. Last night as we talked on the phone he told me that he was thinking of responding to someone in a forum that was very gender dysphoric and was wondering if it was worth having the lower surgery done.  I asked my hubby what he would respond and I was pleasantly surprised to hear that he would tell the person that while it will not "solve" or "fix" the dysphoria it would help.  He said there would be times during the process you would question if it was worth it but in the end it would be better than before.  He told me that he DOES feel better and it is more an absence of things that shouldn't have been there (female parts, holes where they don't belong) than what is there.  He said it is nice not having to have a packer anym...

As my hubby pointed out last night it has been 10 months since his first and most major lower sexual reassignment surgery.  First off I have to say that I hate the term sexual reassignment surgery since he has always been male in my eyes (he transitioned over 12 years ago and I have only known him just over 6 years) so even though he is having lower surgery he already transitioned in my eyes. So the surgeries have been a lot of ups and downs.  Even though they gave us a timeline reality did not set in on how long it would take and because of scheduling issues there was a more than 2 month delay on the last surgery and there had been complications there is still at least one more surgery to go for this round.  So where are we?  Well in a couple of months we will be able to schedule his next surgery which we figure will be around May 2013 and then probably a couple months after that he will have one more minor surgery (August 2013??) and then he has to wait at leas...

"Congratulations, it's a girl!" announced a nurse 52 years ago today.  When the nurse asked the 15 year old girl what the name would be - she stumbled over her words and said she thought the baby was a boy and hadn't picked out a name.  She finally created a name based on someone the nurse knew and the doctor's name.  As that "baby girl" started to grow into a "little girl" she insisted she was a boy.  She ripped off her girl clothes and pretended to be her grandfather shaving.  She never felt comfortable in her body and as puberty started she became even more frustrated, depressed and upset that she didn't turn into a boy.  She grew up like a lot of kids - going to school and trying to fit in.  Home life sucked as often does when a teen mom tries to raise a child on her own.  At one point the girl, now a young lady comes out and says she is a lesbian.  She tried to fit in that way but still she was often taken to be a male just by look...

The night of December 3, 2006 my understanding of gender would change dramatically and it would continue to change even through today.  Now I already understood that some people felt they were actually not the gender they were born and I myself have dealt with questioning whether I was supposed to be a boy or a girl in my teen years but I had not really spend much time researching and certainly never had the opportunity to ask someone questions and learn from their point of view before. So back to that night.  I was on a website http://www.butchfemmematchmaker.com as I was a femme lesbian looking for a stone-butch or butch.  I expanded my search to ftm (female to male) thinking that someone ftm wouldn't be much different than the stone butches I had dated (I would learn differently) and found a profile that had some references to The Princess Bride which is my favorite movie of all time so sent him a "virtual kiss".  Later on that evening he would open up a chat a...

Definition of STEALTH 1: the act or action of proceeding furtively, secretly, or imperceptibly  2 : the state of being furtive or unobtrusive So what does stealth have to do with me?  Everything.   Around 4th grade when girls were starting to go boy crazy - I had no interest in boys and actually had a crush on a female teacher (thank goodness not one of my teachers just one at school).  As a geek I looked things up and started to figure out I was probably a lesbian.  High school came around and because of a hormone imbalance (PCOS) my voice got lower and I started growing facial hair - so much that I had to shave 2x a day.  This made me question for awhile whether I was supposed to be a boy.  Eventually I realized that I really am a lesbian but since it was not really acceptable among my family and friends, I just hid it. I met a wonderful guy who became my best friend and explained that I liked girls and he had his o...

First - Sorry I have been so delinquent in my posts.  Things changed rapidly and then it seemed so daunting to catch up.  I have promised myself I will try to catch up and keep up.  So to anyone reading this - yes I am more than a month behind but I hope shortly to be caught up. I will continue writing as if I am at the date in the post since I will remember the day as I walk back through my notes. So here it goes: I got up.  I hadn't slept well because I was so nervous.  I made sure my son was up.  I went to the interview.  It seemed to go ok, but who knows.  I did something that maybe was foolish but I felt wrong not doing it, I let them know I would need time off at the end of February and beginning of March for my hubby's surgery.  It may keep me from getting the job, but I just didn't want to put them in a bad position in a few months without them knowing.  I still hope I land a therapist job but this doesn't seem bad.  Th...

Today started off good even though hubby and I were tired from going to bed and not sleeping well.  We were both really anxious.  I made sure my son was getting up and we headed to the airport.  We got there and parked with no problem.  In security despite my hubby being anxious - *I* was the one who they decided to do a pat down on - hubby walked right through.  To think someone was worried that my skirt could hide some scary weapon - LOL.  So we get through security buy a pathetic breakfast from Burger King and wait.  I called my son to make sure he was on the way out to school.  We boarded the plane and took off on time.  Then just as they said we could take out electronic devices - we made a turn and they asked us to return them (about 20 min into the flight) - we landed back at our original airport.  They had us sit there for over 4 hours!  Our appointment was for noon - and at 12:30 we were still at our original airport sittin...

So we got up and hubby and I decided to enjoy some mac n cheese since my son was away.  Hubby went out and bought some fireworks - now we have a lot between the two of us.  We relaxed and chatted - I talked to him about some hard topics and he let me book the plane tickets to a consult that he needs to go to.  At least in one area I feel I am moving forward in my life.  My son called and invited us to his friend's house for a BBQ and to bring our fireworks.  We did - we enjoyed the company - and then spent several hours shooting off fireworks.  Between our fireworks and their's we had hours of fun!  Even setting off many at a time for the fun of it.  Finally we left a bit after 11pm.  I realized somehow I lost my bluetooth on Saturday - hubby tried to help me find it - no luck - so I went to bed knowing I would not be able to talk while driving - oh well. Now to see what will happen this week on the job front.