Lady Heather's Domain: My life in a Nutshell

I feel like I am just stuck waiting ... waiting to figure out the next part of our lives.  We just have to keep waiting for answers, waiting for people to get in the office, waiting for this or that.  It is scary and hard since we cannot even figure out what our lives will be in a month and we don't know the best answers or what should we do.  Do we pack up and move far away or do we stay and gamble on more than a part time job.  Do we hang on here and plan or will we end up being broke and homeless. 

  This year I am starting to have to deal with some chaos.  I came back from the Priestess Retreat and found my husband is very sick and they don't know exactly what it is.  So here is where I am with my seeds of intent...   1.  Continue to work on my health - kind of have slipped but I am working on my diabetes. 2.  Start balancing my case load so it is not overwhelming - I have figured it out to be much better for me and allow me to work more while stressing less. 3.  Continue to follow the path the Goddess has put in front of me especially when it comes to being a therapist - with work I am doing a good job on this - I am taking on what is put in my path 4.  Continue to process letting go of my daughter - still trying to let go - making lots of progress. 5.  Be good to myself - trying - I am struggling a bit with depression and being overwhelmed. 6.  Focus on organizing my life so it allows me to do what I need to do to be...

Beltane is a time of Expression - it is time to express your intentions.  You have planned and created and now it is time to really work on your intentions.  This year I am seeing the possibilities of my new practice/career and need to keep working on it to make it thrive. My Seeds of Intent 1.  Continue to work on my health Made an appointment with my doctor to work on glucose levels and started Rock Steady Boxing. 2.  Start balancing my case load so it is not overwhelming Turned down a client that would have taken too much energy - accepting more transgender clients. 3.  Continue to follow the path the Goddess has put in front of me especially when it comes to being a therapist.  Doing more to celebrate the Sabbats and using aromas in the house along with seasonal decorations. 4.  Continue to process letting go of my daughter. Keep working on my emotions. 5.  Be good to myself. Not getting so stressed out when the house is ...

I have been struggling with balancing my life.  I am one of those people who is often an all or very little person.  When I get tired or depressed or my body is hurting, I struggle to do even the basics.  The house gets messy quickly, everything gets backlogged and so forth. But then I get energy back or feel better and suddenly I have a really good day of cleaning and I am able to keep up for a few days or weeks and then I slide back.  I am trying to find the balance - today I am soar because yesterday I cleaned house for 8+ hours - so today I am taking it easier and picking up and keeping things clean but not taking on huge projects. Although I took care of 2 annoying things.   The Master Bath Toilet whistled loudly every time you flushed it so I took care of that and our alarm was telling us the keypad had low batteries so I took care of that.  Let's hope I can keep up with things for a bit.

Now it is the time of year when we actually start working on our intentions - we plant the seeds - we start actively spending energy to make our seeds of intent grow. So let's see how I am coming along with each of my intents. And for this next year I got 6 seeds of intent and they are going to be: 1.  Continue to work on my health I am walking more again - doing neurofeedback in hopes to help my sleep patterns 2.  Start balancing my case load so it is not overwhelming  I am learning to limit my time with my clients and learn to say no. 3.  Continue to follow the path the Goddess has put in front of me especially when it comes to being a therapist. Now I am taking some clients from an agency which allows me to get decent pay and still work with the under-served. 4.  Continue to process letting go of my daughter I am feeling better and better despite struggling on her birthday. 5.  Be good to myself. I am working on not being upset with...

Beltane is a time of Expression - it is time to express your intentions.  You have planned and created and now it is time to really work on your intentions.  This year I am seeing the possibilities of my new practice/career and need to keep working on it to make it thrive. My Seeds of Intent 1.  Continue to get healthier and try to get all blood tests into the normal range. Getting closer to doing that - my blood work is coming back closer to normal 2.  To increase my speaking and work towards becoming a speaker. Took on a speaking engagement on LGBTQ Safe Zone 3.  Continue to follow the path the Goddess has put in front of me especially when it comes to being a therapist. Following my heart, working with clients, doing more Transgender work 4.  Start figuring out how to move from Sacramento. Going to visit OR at the end of July to see clients that moved So many changes and exciting things happening, I look forward to see what the rest...

Now it is the time of year when we actually start working on our intentions - we plant the seeds - we start actively spending energy to make our seeds of intent grow. So let's see how I am coming along with each of my intents. 1.  Continue to get healthier and try to get all blood tests into the normal range. I am back to exercising and now I am doing virtual races which are giving me more incentives. 2.  To increase my speaking and work towards becoming a speaker. I am probably going to be the pre-license speaker for SVC-CAMFT's Feb training 3.  Continue to follow the path the Goddess has put in front of me especially when it comes to being a therapist. Found a therapy model called Wisdom Path Parenting and it fits me really well. 4.  Start figuring out how to move from Sacramento. Hubby and I are now actively looking at our options and we both have an idea of what our next steps are. I feel more energized than I ever have and feel so good physica...

Not what you think - I am doing a 2 day training on how to do therapy with couples.  I am enjoying learning lots of little things that can help me better work with couples but even more that every time they mention something that is helpful to a relationship - I realize my hubby and I do it.  And when they talk about harmful things that hurt a relationship - we have never done them.  It is so cool to see that you are doing what the experts say are the way to have a long, healthy, happy and loving relationship.   In less than a month we will celebrate our 7th year wedding anniversary and in December that will be 9 years since we have met.  I am so blissfully happy in our marriage.

I spent last week at the Gender Odyssey Conference.  It was amazing, humbling and very emotional. I have so many things I am still trying to grasp. My daughter also contacted me while I was at the conference and actually was in a mental health facility trying to remain sober. So spending the day listening to loving and supporting your child no matter what and then talking my daughter and trying to apply the same concepts to my relationship with her.  So much to process. I think I will be adding to this one post for awhile as I process the emotions. I am waiting to hear back from my daughter re: whether he relapse yesterday is going to cause her to get kicked out.  So hard to just let go and yet hold my arms open. ********************** update Tuesday, August 25 2015 - it seems that my daughter has left the facility based on her FB posts. I have decided to try to seek therapy because this is just to much - I need to work through these emotions and I am just a me...

Litha - Summer Solstice - The Beginning of summer.  This is the longest day of the year and now the nights will lengthen.  This is a time of manifestation.  We are seeing what the hard work on our intentions look like. This year my intentions are: 1.  To walk more So found out no surgery but the injury will take awhile to heal.  Again told be nice to it - don't walk so much - wear protective shoes.  But at least no surgery and it will get better. 2.  To make sure I do self-care. In a couple of weeks we are going on a cruise to Alaska!  This will be major self care - I need this and I hope it helps my hubby too. 3.  To pass my licensing exams ACCOMPLISHED!!!  I passed both exams, and my license was issued on April 21! 4.  To find a way to be supportive of my daughter and not enable her. After trying to help her into a sober living environment and failing - I have limited my interactions to the basic cheer-leadin...

It is often called the Milk Moon because baby goats and calves have just started to be born so cow and goat milk is plentiful.   It is a time when planting is the main focus and birth and new life is plentiful. I am taking this time to start really focusing on MY OWN practice - I am now licensed so now I can nurture and let my practice grow. I am also enjoying my new life with adult children and enjoying nurturing the next phase of my marriage

Beltane is a time of Expression - it is time to express your intentions.  You have planned and created and now it is time to really work on your intentions.  This year I am seeing the possibilities of my new practice/career and need to keep working on it to make it thrive. My Seeds of Intent 1.  To walk more I am so very frustrated with this seed - early February I hurt my foot and my doctors are telling me to not walk on it.  I may even have surgery on it. 2.  To make sure I do self-care. I am working on this.  I am taking more time for myself and choosing to disconnect from toxic people.  I took it easy while I was studying and made sure to have fun. 3.  To pass my licensing exams ACCOMPLISHED!!!  I passed both exams, and my license was issued on April 21! 4.  To find a way to be supportive of my daughter and not enable her. After trying to help her into a sober living environment and failing - I have limited my int...

So this weekend was spent with my hubby visiting his grandfather who is now in a 24 hour nursing facility.  Grandpa wants to die, he is 93 years old (almost 94), gotten too weak to care for himself, lost his wife a few years ago and really no longer has a good quality of life. Why must this wonderful, self sufficient man be forced to waste away in pain and discomfort both emotionally and physically when he feels he has lived a long and wonderful life.  We do not want him to leave but watching him wither away is not right.  He no longer wants to be here - I hate that we have to watch this proud man lose his dignity as he slowly dies.  It breaks my heart that if one of my pets no longer is able a decent quality of life, it is ok to let them go, but it is not ok for a human being. I hope and pray now that Grandpa has made his decision that he does not want to live any longer, he is able to go rather quickly. 

So this weekend, I was reading some of my favorite blogs and this one, "The Chill Out Fire Storm" made me realize how awesome my husband and my relationship is.  These phrases: 1) Chillax. 2) You are being irrational. 3) Stop stressing out. It’s no big deal. 4) Have you taken your medication? 5) Is it that time of the month? 6) You are overreacting. 7) You are always upset about something. or something close to them were often uttered by my partner in my previous relationships.  Not one of those is used by either my husband or myself.  When either of us are stressed, we empathize and do not "blame" the other or invalidate each others' feelings. I think that really keeps our relationship awesome. It made me realize how much we are naturally validating, respectful and loving towards each other. I am so happy to have such a wonderful relationship with my husband.

This weekend was busy.  On Friday, my son was a groomsman for a good friend's wedding.  He seemed so grown up - going to a bachelor party, handling groomsmen tasks.  While at the wedding I realized how my position has changed.  I watched a couple dancing (the groom's parents) and thought how cool they were dancing to pop music from the 80s and then I realized they are probably actually close to my age - maybe a bit older - I have now become a parent to an adult - a new rite of passage. Saturday, we had my son's Eagle Court of Honor.  There were dignitaries and such.  It was fun and it was serious - my son is an Eagle Scout and I am a mom of an Eagle Scout!  Wow!  Afterwards my son went to hang out with a friend that in a couple of weeks will be going on his mission for two years!  The kids that were laughing and joking in my house are adults now - everyone is growing up. Sunday, my hubby and my son and I went to go see Princess Bride in...

I feel like I have waited my whole life for this - For a point in time that everything seems to be getting better.  Sure I have had one thing here or there that was going right - but usually it just helped me get through something else that was going wrong. So let me take a moment and share with you things that are going right: My hubby and I - Still happily and deeply in love.  October 31st will make our 5 year anniversary!  And December 4th will make 7 years together!  The picture to my left is a little gift he gave me for no real reason.  As customary it has several meanings.  I have been reading the Mistborn series and I told him that when some of the characters burn pewter for a long time and then stop - they are really tired - it is called "pewter dragging"  so he got me a "pewter dragon".  Amethyst is my favorite stone and I love dragons and their energy.  As usual he knows me so well an...

Yesterday my hubby flew to another state to have another surgery for his transition from FTM (although he has been living as male for 13 years).  It has been a long process - it has been just over a year since his first lower surgery. Last night as we talked on the phone he told me that he was thinking of responding to someone in a forum that was very gender dysphoric and was wondering if it was worth having the lower surgery done.  I asked my hubby what he would respond and I was pleasantly surprised to hear that he would tell the person that while it will not "solve" or "fix" the dysphoria it would help.  He said there would be times during the process you would question if it was worth it but in the end it would be better than before.  He told me that he DOES feel better and it is more an absence of things that shouldn't have been there (female parts, holes where they don't belong) than what is there.  He said it is nice not having to have a packer anym...

Today I was talking to my mom and I had to hold back tears as I expressed the wonderful thing my hubby got me for my birthday.  Rewind to a few years ago.  I had gone grocery shopping and picked up goat cheese (anyone who knows me knows I love cheese).  My my maternal grandfather had introduced me to goat cheese and it was something that I shared his love of.  He would slice it up and put it on toast or crackers for me and then we would sit and talk.  It is a memory that is very dear to me.  Well when I got home from buying the goat cheese and put some on a cracker, I found it didn't taste or look like I remembered.  My hubby walked in and he asked why I looked disappointed.  I told him that it wasn't the same as I remembered.  We talked and when I expressed what I remembered the cheese being like he seemed to understand and said there is a Scandinavian goat cheese that he knows of that seemed more like the one I remembered.  This made...

As my hubby pointed out last night it has been 10 months since his first and most major lower sexual reassignment surgery.  First off I have to say that I hate the term sexual reassignment surgery since he has always been male in my eyes (he transitioned over 12 years ago and I have only known him just over 6 years) so even though he is having lower surgery he already transitioned in my eyes. So the surgeries have been a lot of ups and downs.  Even though they gave us a timeline reality did not set in on how long it would take and because of scheduling issues there was a more than 2 month delay on the last surgery and there had been complications there is still at least one more surgery to go for this round.  So where are we?  Well in a couple of months we will be able to schedule his next surgery which we figure will be around May 2013 and then probably a couple months after that he will have one more minor surgery (August 2013??) and then he has to wait at leas...

Well another calendar year! I try to remind myself that it is unwritten and I can fill up the calendar with my own accomplishments, dreams and events.  I listen to this song to really remind myself.  I had a wonderful birthday with my hubby who is very kind and caring and gives simple and yet extremely thoughtful gifts. I look forward to the new year and making my dreams come true.