My Quest for Peace - Day 60

It feels so good to see what I have accomplished in the last several years and even just recently.  I am happier and more peaceful than I have ever been.  I learned in December of 2006 that I could not allow my life, peace and happiness to be controlled by others.  I learned I could not change what others do.  When I got into my relationship with my hubby (my healthiest relationship by far), we decided we would not try to change each other.  I feel in love with him as he is - even his imperfections.  I have at times struggled with that (him sleeping late and such - but even then I remind myself that I chose to be with him and knew this is how he is so I should look for the positive side (like having quiet time to myself)).

I still do need a bit of love and support from my hubby to feel good about myself but I am getting better.  I am feeling more sure of myself and do not NEED him to give me so many positives and support - I enjoy getting it but slowly I am relying on myself more and more for my own self esteem.

I am very happy that I have created a small close world in which I can speak my truth.  In my small professional world that is opening up - I am speaking my truth and my closest friends I can speak my own truth.  Even my family is slowly accepting my truth.  Despite having to be "stealth" in many ways - I am finding ways to live as I truly am and it feels very freeing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Waiting....

Image
I feel like I am just stuck waiting ... waiting to figure out the next part of our lives.  We just have to keep waiting for answers, waiting for people to get in the office, waiting for this or that.  It is scary and hard since we cannot even figure out what our lives will be in a month and we don't know the best answers or what should we do.  Do we pack up and move far away or do we stay and gamble on more than a part time job.  Do we hang on here and plan or will we end up being broke and homeless. 
Read more

Balance

I have been struggling with balancing my life.  I am one of those people who is often an all or very little person.  When I get tired or depressed or my body is hurting, I struggle to do even the basics.  The house gets messy quickly, everything gets backlogged and so forth. But then I get energy back or feel better and suddenly I have a really good day of cleaning and I am able to keep up for a few days or weeks and then I slide back.  I am trying to find the balance - today I am soar because yesterday I cleaned house for 8+ hours - so today I am taking it easier and picking up and keeping things clean but not taking on huge projects. Although I took care of 2 annoying things.   The Master Bath Toilet whistled loudly every time you flushed it so I took care of that and our alarm was telling us the keypad had low batteries so I took care of that.  Let's hope I can keep up with things for a bit.
Read more

Mabon\Fall Equinox

Image
  This year I am starting to have to deal with some chaos.  I came back from the Priestess Retreat and found my husband is very sick and they don't know exactly what it is.  So here is where I am with my seeds of intent...   1.  Continue to work on my health - kind of have slipped but I am working on my diabetes. 2.  Start balancing my case load so it is not overwhelming - I have figured it out to be much better for me and allow me to work more while stressing less. 3.  Continue to follow the path the Goddess has put in front of me especially when it comes to being a therapist - with work I am doing a good job on this - I am taking on what is put in my path 4.  Continue to process letting go of my daughter - still trying to let go - making lots of progress. 5.  Be good to myself - trying - I am struggling a bit with depression and being overwhelmed. 6.  Focus on organizing my life so it allows me to do what I need to do to be...
Read more