I spent last week at the Gender Odyssey Conference. It was amazing, humbling and very emotional. I have so many things I am still trying to grasp. My daughter also contacted me while I was at the conference and actually was in a mental health facility trying to remain sober. So spending the day listening to loving and supporting your child no matter what and then talking my daughter and trying to apply the same concepts to my relationship with her. So much to process. I think I will be adding to this one post for awhile as I process the emotions. I am waiting to hear back from my daughter re: whether he relapse yesterday is going to cause her to get kicked out. So hard to just let go and yet hold my arms open. ********************** update Tuesday, August 25 2015 - it seems that my daughter has left the facility based on her FB posts. I have decided to try to seek therapy because this is just to much - I need to work through these emotions and I am just a me...
"We will see" - Luckily I didn't have very many stressful, overwhelming or negative experiences today - although a few of my friends did and I reminded them to take a step back and to wait and see a bit before going into panic mode. There were a couple of times that I did use it though. I was doing my walk when my foot started hurting - felt like a blister. Instead of focusing on the pain, I just told myself that we will see when I get back to the house what the problem was. I did and realized the blister was getting worse and then without being frustrated or upset went inside and did other things. I did not let it get me down - I focused on the fact I had walked 2 miles instead of the fact I was a mile short of where I wanted and probably won't be able to walk tomorrow (we will see). I have to go to court for my daughter on Thursday and some things came up today and instead of starting to stress or panic, I know there is nothing I can do - so I chose to say ...
This is the time we start reaping our harvest. Seeing what we actually gained for all of our hard work. These are my seeds of intend this turn of the wheel: 1. To continue to become more physically, mentally and emotionally healthy. 2. To continue to focus on helping my son into adulthood and being present with him and understanding of his limitations and abilities. 3. To find a way to become a therapist in the direction in which the Goddess leads me. 4. To find a way to be supportive of my daughter and not enable her as she goes into adulthood. And I am reaping: 1. I am down to monthly on my allergy shots, got my female problems taken care of, and found that to be emotionally healthy, seed #4 would have to be let go. 2. My son is doing really well - in his 2nd year of college, has a job, and is becoming more and more independent and responsible. I support him and try to help when needed but mostly let him learn by doing. 3....
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